One that may never see a stage…

…At least I don’t foresee any situation in which it would be produced.  It was mostly for myself anyway.  For those of you who know me, you know this play is pretty autobiographical and, yes, this kind of conversation happened many, many times.  I don’t like that this play is very much a for-Mormons-by-Mormons deal, but it’s one of not very many like it.  At least in the stuff I do.  If you don’t “get” Mormons, you might not get the play.  But we’ll see…

WITH HONOR

(SCOTT and SISTER FINN sit in silence on a couch in the church foyer.  SISTER FINN looks as if she wants to talk to SCOTT and moves to start speaking several times, backing off each time.  Finally she gets up the nerve to speak.)
SISTER FINN
It’s very nice to see you.
SCOTT
Oh, yeah.  You too.
SISTER FINN
Are you waiting for…
SCOTT
My mom.  I’m her ride so…
SISTER FINN
Hmmm.
(She is unsatisfied but doesn’t know what else to say.  Silence again.  After a moment, she speaks again.)
It’s been quite a while.
SCOTT
Quite a while.
SISTER FINN
I’m just waiting for Jamie to be done.  She’s in a meeting.  Laurel president.
SCOTT
Oh.  Cool.
SISTER FINN
How was it?
SCOTT
Huh?
SISTER FINN
Argentina.  That’s where you…
SCOTT
Oh, yeah.  Great.  Just great, you know?
SISTER FINN
Oh, I bet it was.
(Silence again.)
So, yeah.  A really long time.  What, like nineteen months?
SCOTT
(Pauses, takes a breath, considering how to respond.)
Just under twenty months, yeah.
SISTER FINN
Twenty months.  You know, that’s wonderful.  Andrew’s been out about twenty months now.
SCOTT
Yeah, we left the same month.
SISTER FINN
You did.  I remember that.  He’ll be home soon too.  Just a few more months.
SCOTT
That must be exciting.
SISTER FINN
Yes.
(Beat.)
Four.  Four months, he’ll be home.
SCOTT
(Suddenly.)
Yeah, I know.  Is there something you want to say?
SISTER FINN
What?  Oh, no no, just making conversation.
SCOTT
Just…
SISTER FINN
(Hurt.)
I didn’t mean to offend you.
SCOTT
(Regretfully.)
No, I’m sorry.  You know, I’m just gonna wait in the car.
(Rises and grabs a cane from nearby and begins to walk with its assistance to exit.  SISTER FINN sees this and sighs with relief.)
SISTER FINN
Oh!  Your leg!
SCOTT
(Puzzled.)
My knee, yes.
SISTER FINN
(Almost giddy with relief.)
You hurt your knee.
(Chuckles.)
I’m so sorry.  You know, I thought you were…Oh, so silly.
(Low, conspiratorially.)
I thought you were just…home early.
SCOTT
Well, I am.
SISTER FINN
Yes, but with this.  How did you hurt it?
SCOTT
Fornicating with an Argentine prostitute.
(SISTER FINN looks as if she’s been slapped.  She is unable to speak and can’t decide if this was serious or not.  SCOTT rolls his eyes.)
I took a nasty fall playing basketball on P-day.  Tore my ACL.
SISTER FINN
(Still reeling.)
Oh, I am so sorry.  Does it hurt?
SCOTT
Yes.
SISTER FINN
Hmmmm.
SCOTT
So, you thought…
SISTER FINN
No, I didn’t think that.  I mean, it’s always a possibility and obviously it’s not up to me to judge.
SCOTT
Obviously.
SISTER FINN
I knew you would never get sent home.
SCOTT
But you thought I was.
SISTER FINN
No.  No, now you’re putting words in my mouth.
SCOTT
I didn’t put any-
SISTER FINN
You know, this is just silly.
(Pause.)
So, what’s going to happen?
SCOTT
With this?  I’m getting surgery next week.
SISTER FINN
Good, take care of it early.  Then are you going back out?
SCOTT
It’s possible.  I have a couple months of recuperation and, well, nothing’s for sure.
SISTER FINN
Oh, but they want you to go back out, don’t they?
SCOTT
I guess.  But no one’s making any promises.
SISTER FINN
So you just have to wait and see.
SCOTT
That’s the situation.
SISTER FINN
Have you gotten a blessing?
SCOTT
Several.
SISTER FINN
Well, it’ll be fine then.
(Beat.)
You know, I remember this story about…oh, I forget the name.  One of the Apostles, back in the early days.  He went on a mission and got sick.  You know, so sick he couldn’t move.  And he got a letter from the church that said he had to come home.
(With growing intensity.)
And he read that letter, and he got up out of bed, and he got dressed and started walking again.  That faith, can you imagine that faith?  He finished up his mission and came home with honor.
(Beat.)
I love that story.
SCOTT
(Pause.)
Who was that?
SISTER FINN
You know, maybe it was a Seventy.  I just don’t remember.  I got it in an email somewhere.
SCOTT
Hmmm.  Yeah, well, thank you for that.
SISTER FINN
Not that that…applies to this.  I just remembered…
SCOTT
How’s Andrew doing?
SISTER FINN
Oh, he’s wonderful.  He is so excited to come home and we miss him so much.  Every letter he sends home has something in there about who he wants to ask out or what he wants for his first dinner at home.
SCOTT
Really.
SISTER FINN
Well, when you only have four months left…Well, you know how it is.
SCOTT
I guess.
SISTER FINN
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this.  So, what happened with the knee?
SCOTT
I tore a tendon.
SISTER FINN
Right.  Awful.  I sure hope they let you go back out.  It’s the least they can do.
SCOTT
Who?  What do you mean?
SISTER FINN
Well, that’s your mission.  You have a right to those four months, don’t you think?
SCOTT
It would be nice.
SISTER FINN
They’ve gotta let you finish, and have a homecoming, and…you know.
SCOTT
That’s really not what I’m worried about right now…
SISTER FINN
No?  Well, good.  Don’t think about the end when you’ve got more to go, right?  Think about the now.
SCOTT
Well, this might be the end.
SISTER FINN
No.  No, don’t you say that at all.
SCOTT
Well…
SISTER FINN
You have those four months.  You work for those.
SCOTT
Right…
SISTER FINN
Waiting is no fun.
SCOTT
I know.  I mean, I feel like if I had any idea when it would be over, you know?
SISTER FINN
And this is the longest Laurel presidency meeting I have ever heard of.
(Beat.)
Jamie is the Laurel class president.
SCOTT
Yeah.
(Pause.)
What if she didn’t come out?  Of the meeting?
SISTER FINN
What’s that?
SCOTT
I don’t mean, like, something happened to her.  But, you know.  She got a ride with someone else and you missed her.
SISTER FINN
I think I’ve been watching closely.
SCOTT
But how long would you wait?
SISTER FINN
Well, I trust her, so I would wait as long as it took.
(Beat.  Reassuringly.)
I’m sure your mom is fine.
SCOTT
What?  Oh, yeah.
SISTER FINN
How is that family that you were writing your mom about?  With the baby girl?
SCOTT
Oh, they’re doing well.  Well, they were last week.  Geez, I hope they went to church today.  We were gonna mark their baptism this week, you know?  And they’re pretty excited.
SISTER FINN
It’s a good thing you didn’t break your knee a month ago, right?
SCOTT
I didn’t break it.
(Beat.)
Wait, why?
SISTER FINN
Your mom said you found them a few weeks ago.
SCOTT
…Yeah.
SISTER FINN
So it’s a good thing you were there, don’t you think?
SCOTT
(Thinking.)
I guess so.  I mean, someone would have found them.
SISTER FINN
Well, you never know.
SCOTT
Huh.
SISTER FINN
(Pause.)
Do you think I missed her?  I might have been talking to you when she-
SCOTT
No, I was just…I think she’ll be right out.
SISTER FINN
Good.  We have a potluck to get to.
SCOTT
Yeah.  I mean, you could check, I guess.
SISTER FINN
No, I’ll wait a little longer.
SCOTT
Yeah.
(They wait in a comfortable silence for a few moments as the lights fade.)

(SCOTT and SISTER FINN sit in silence on a couch in the church foyer.  SISTER FINN looks as if she wants to talk to SCOTT and moves to start speaking several times, backing off each time.  Finally she gets up the nerve to speak.)

SISTER FINN

It’s very nice to see you.

SCOTT

Oh, yeah.  You too.

SISTER FINN

Are you waiting for…

SCOTT

My mom.  I’m her ride so…

SISTER FINN

Hmmm.

(She is unsatisfied but doesn’t know what else to say.  Silence again.  After a moment, she speaks again.)

It’s been quite a while.

SCOTT

Quite a while.

SISTER FINN

I’m just waiting for Jamie to be done.  She’s in a meeting.  Laurel president.

SCOTT

Oh.  Cool.

SISTER FINN

How was it?

SCOTT

Huh?

SISTER FINN

Argentina.  That’s where you…

SCOTT

Oh, yeah.  Great.  Just great, you know?

SISTER FINN

Oh, I bet it was.

(Silence again.)

So, yeah.  A really long time.  What, like nineteen months?

SCOTT

(Pauses, takes a breath, considering how to respond.)

Just under twenty months, yeah.

SISTER FINN

Twenty months.  You know, that’s wonderful.  Andrew’s been out about twenty months now.

SCOTT

Yeah, we left the same month.

SISTER FINN

You did.  I remember that.  He’ll be home soon too.  Just a few more months.

SCOTT

That must be exciting.

SISTER FINN

Yes.

(Beat.)

Four.  Four months, he’ll be home.

SCOTT

(Suddenly.)

Yeah, I know.  Is there something you want to say?

SISTER FINN

What?  Oh, no no, just making conversation.

SCOTT

Just…

SISTER FINN

(Hurt.)

I didn’t mean to offend you.

SCOTT

(Regretfully.)

No, I’m sorry.  You know, I’m just gonna wait in the car.

(Rises and grabs a cane from nearby and begins to walk with its assistance to exit.  SISTER FINN sees this and sighs with relief.)

SISTER FINN

Oh!  Your leg!

SCOTT

(Puzzled.)

My knee, yes.

SISTER FINN

(Almost giddy with relief.)

You hurt your knee.

(Chuckles.)

I’m so sorry.  You know, I thought you were…Oh, so silly.

(Low, conspiratorially.)

I thought you were just…home early.

SCOTT

Well, I am.

SISTER FINN

Yes, but with this.  How did you hurt it?

SCOTT

Fornicating with an Argentine prostitute.

(SISTER FINN looks as if she’s been slapped.  She is unable to speak and can’t decide if this was serious or not.  SCOTT rolls his eyes.)

I took a nasty fall playing basketball on P-day.  Tore my ACL.

SISTER FINN

(Still reeling.)

Oh, I am so sorry.  Does it hurt?

SCOTT

Yes.

SISTER FINN

Hmmmm.

SCOTT

So, you thought…

SISTER FINN

No, I didn’t think that.  I mean, it’s always a possibility and obviously it’s not up to me to judge.

SCOTT

Obviously.

SISTER FINN

I knew you would never get sent home.

SCOTT

But you thought I was.

SISTER FINN

No.  No, now you’re putting words in my mouth.

SCOTT

I didn’t put any-

SISTER FINN

You know, this is just silly.

(Pause.)

So, what’s going to happen?

SCOTT

With this?  I’m getting surgery next week.

SISTER FINN

Good, take care of it early.  Then are you going back out?

SCOTT

It’s possible.  I have a couple months of recuperation and, well, nothing’s for sure.

SISTER FINN

Oh, but they want you to go back out, don’t they?

SCOTT

I guess.  But no one’s making any promises.

SISTER FINN

So you just have to wait and see.

SCOTT

That’s the situation.

SISTER FINN

Have you gotten a blessing?

SCOTT

Several.

SISTER FINN

Well, it’ll be fine then.

(Beat.)

You know, I remember this story about…oh, I forget the name.  One of the Apostles, back in the early days.  He went on a mission and got sick.  You know, so sick he couldn’t move.  And he got a letter from the church that said he had to come home.

(With growing intensity.)

And he read that letter, and he got up out of bed, and he got dressed and started walking again.  That faith, can you imagine that faith?  He finished up his mission and came home with honor.

(Beat.)

I love that story.

SCOTT

(Pause.)

Who was that?

SISTER FINN

You know, maybe it was a Seventy.  I just don’t remember.  I got it in an email somewhere.

SCOTT

Hmmm.  Yeah, well, thank you for that.

SISTER FINN

Not that that…applies to this.  I just remembered…

SCOTT

How’s Andrew doing?

SISTER FINN

Oh, he’s wonderful.  He is so excited to come home and we miss him so much.  Every letter he sends home has something in there about who he wants to ask out or what he wants for his first dinner at home.

SCOTT

Really.

SISTER FINN

Well, when you only have four months left…Well, you know how it is.

SCOTT

I guess.

SISTER FINN

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this.  So, what happened with the knee?

SCOTT

I tore a tendon.

SISTER FINN

Right.  Awful.  I sure hope they let you go back out.  It’s the least they can do.

SCOTT

Who?  What do you mean?

SISTER FINN

Well, that’s your mission.  You have a right to those four months, don’t you think?

SCOTT

It would be nice.

SISTER FINN

They’ve gotta let you finish, and have a homecoming, and…you know.

SCOTT

That’s really not what I’m worried about right now…

SISTER FINN

No?  Well, good.  Don’t think about the end when you’ve got more to go, right?  Think about the now.

SCOTT

Well, this might be the end.

SISTER FINN

No.  No, don’t you say that at all.

SCOTT

Well…

SISTER FINN

You have those four months.  You work for those.

SCOTT

Right…

SISTER FINN

Waiting is no fun.

SCOTT

I know.  I mean, I feel like if I had any idea when it would be over, you know?

SISTER FINN

And this is the longest Laurel presidency meeting I have ever heard of.

(Beat.)

Jamie is the Laurel class president.

SCOTT

Yeah.

(Pause.)

What if she didn’t come out?  Of the meeting?

SISTER FINN

What’s that?

SCOTT

I don’t mean, like, something happened to her.  But, you know.  She got a ride with someone else and you missed her.

SISTER FINN

I think I’ve been watching closely.

SCOTT

But how long would you wait?

SISTER FINN

Well, I trust her, so I would wait as long as it took.

(Beat.  Reassuringly.)

I’m sure your mom is fine.

SCOTT

What?  Oh, yeah.

SISTER FINN

How is that family that you were writing your mom about?  With the baby girl?

SCOTT

Oh, they’re doing well.  Well, they were last week.  Geez, I hope they went to church today.  We were gonna mark their baptism this week, you know?  And they’re pretty excited.

SISTER FINN

It’s a good thing you didn’t break your knee a month ago, right?

SCOTT

I didn’t break it.

(Beat.)

Wait, why?

SISTER FINN

Your mom said you found them a few weeks ago.

SCOTT

…Yeah.

SISTER FINN

So it’s a good thing you were there, don’t you think?

SCOTT

(Thinking.)

I guess so.  I mean, someone would have found them.

SISTER FINN

Well, you never know.

SCOTT

Huh.

SISTER FINN

(Pause.)

Do you think I missed her?  I might have been talking to you when she-

SCOTT

No, I was just…I think she’ll be right out.

SISTER FINN

Good.  We have a potluck to get to.

SCOTT

Yeah.  I mean, you could check, I guess.

SISTER FINN

No, I’ll wait a little longer.

SCOTT

Yeah.

(They wait in a comfortable silence for a few moments as the lights fade.)

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Published in: on July 1, 2009 at 12:48 AM  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. An interesting insight into human behavior. How many times have any of us assumed things about other people? And why do we feel the need to be in other people’s business?


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